Mustard oh mustard
Your sachet is busted
It's now too late
To put on my plate
So I'm left with burger and custard

But wait — but wait — there's tomato sauce
Quite good with a slice of horse
Perhaps with some hay
To stop it going neigh
And then keep it for the second course

But vinegar from the jar
Is much better by far
Horse tastes like spam
So change for the lamb
Providing it stops going baa

All the neighing and barring
Is all quite alarming
As they won't keep still
Refuse the bill
But say the condiments are charming